From and Oregon Ducks board on scout.com
They love Adrian Peterson, of course the lines were originally Chuck Norris lines.

AD once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals AD allows to live.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for AD.

AD is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

AD counted to infinity - twice.

AD doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

AD can slam a revolving door.

When AD does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

AD has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

AD once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears AD pajamas.

AD did, in fact, build Rome in a day.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not AD.

AD was what Willis was talkin' about.

When AD does division, there are no remainders.

AD was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.